Ghetto Dog

I was out walking (or rather, being pulled by) Maude this morning when we crossed paths with another lady and her little dog.

The dogs stopped and sniffed each other--well Maude sniffed and acted the fool--while the other dog shied away.

The other dog was a little poodle mix named “Princess Leia” and was so calm, while Maude was jumping all around acting crazy.

The lady and I started talking and she had adopted Princess Leia from the same shelter we got Maude from and the lady was telling me how great her dog was and how she took her to the groomer’s for the first time the other day and the groomer had said what a wonderful dog she was.

All the while, Maude was still jumping around and basically embarrassing the hell out of me.

I felt like the parent who had the slow kid in the class. While everyone else is bragging about how smart and talented their kid is, all I can say is my kid is very unique.

And in Maude’s case, read ghetto not unique.

• She farts all the time (including sometimes when you pick her up to give her a hug) and they do not smell like fresh mountain breezes
• When I walk her, she tends to go to the bathroom on the sidewalk rather than on the grass, even though I try to pull her over onto the grass
• She pretty much destroys at least one thing everyday (or makes a concerted effort to)
• She dug a hole under the fence last week and made a big break for freedom (the lady who grabbed her off the street and called me literally told me she was “dancing” through all the car lanes
• She’s got some perennial hairball or something that she’s always trying to cough up
• She’s got an old lady name (yes I know this one isn’t her fault). One time we were out with one of Leo’s friends and when we told him what her name is, he pulled a face and said, “Oh, did someone pass away and leave you a dog?”
• Half the time when she pees, she raises her leg like a boy dog. Although, perhaps this isn’t ghettoness but gender confusion.

As I stood there contemplating my ghetto dog and the lady’s “perfect” dog (did I mention I was in a track suit and flip-flops looking pretty janky while she was all dressed and ready for the day) I realized I really wouldn’t have it any other way.

Her dog, although better behaved, was boring. Maude is interesting. She’s also frustrating, nerve-wracking, a huge pain in the behind and a general all-around pest, but she’s our pest.

Sometimes, I think ghetto is what makes life a little more interesting. That little spice of life if you will. Plus, she's so darn cute.